Jessica's Story

I'm in a bit of a predicament. I understand that. But I do plan to start to making some important decisions, really soon. Being a pregnant teenager is nothing new in a lot of families, but in my family...it's definitely not what my parents would expect from me. I have no idea how they would even respond, but one thing that I thought I knew, before I talked to an adoption counselor was that I could never give my baby away. It seemed pretty basic for me, but I'm glad that I talked to that adoption counselor because now I know better.

When I first found out that I was pregnant I was extremely scared. What was I going to do? Some of my friends thought that it was "cool" or "cute" to be pregnant. To be honest, I didn't. I thought it was really stupid of me and I was really mad at the guy that got me pregnant. Yeah, I was in on it, but if I had known what was going to happen, I would never have been with that guy! He wasn't even my boyfriend! 

But, anyway, I thought about the options. I considered having an abortion. It's kind of against my beliefs, but I just can't imagine raising this child at my age. So, at the time, it was definitely an option. Now...it's not so much an option for me. I learned more about it and I know that it would not be good for me in the long run. My friend's mom had suggested adoption very early on in this thing.  I told her that I could never give my baby away. Then, she started explaining to me that it's not really "giving" away my baby, but it's more about giving this baby a chance at a better life that I could give him or her by myself. I had never thought about it like that. So, I decided to talk to the adoption counselor that she referred me to so that I could find out more about the process.

The adoption counselor was not pushy and she didn't try to make me feel bad about myself or my situation. She was very understanding. I'm sure she talks to girls like me all of the time. It was nice to talk to someone that didn't know much about me and the fact that she was not judging me was also good. It made me feel more comfortable and I really was able to open up about everything. The adoption counselor told me how the ultimate decision was mine and how I wouldn't just be giving the baby away like I would a puppy. I could be involved in the process of finding the right parents for this child. I could stop at any point if things didn't feel right for me and I could decide the type of adoption that I wanted. I never realized that it was more it to than just giving the baby to somebody.

I don't want this child to suffer because of my own stupid mistake. I don't want to have to raise a child that I'm not ready for either. Knowing what I know now about adoption, I feel a little dumb for thinking that it was such a "cut and dry" thing. It's not that simple and at the end of the day, the whole point is not to just "give" the baby away, it is to do the best thing for this child. I may not be ready to be a mom, but there are plenty of good people out there that would love to be one. I understand that now.

So, here I am. Still pregnant and still needing to make a decision about what I'm going to do. I'm not exactly sure what my decision will be, but one thing that I know is that I haven't completely ruled out adoption. I just want to do what is best for me and for this baby, and adoption could very well be the best thing...for both of us. LifetimeAdoption.com